Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 31: Forgiving the Unforgivable

In this deeply moving episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah tackles the profound challenge of forgiving the unforgivable. She explains why forgiveness is vital for personal healing—even when there’s no apology—and how forgiveness is ultimately for your benefit, not for the person or situation that caused harm.

Dr. Sarah begins by discussing the hope and transformation that true forgiveness can bring, clarifying that forgiveness doesn’t mean becoming boundaryless. Instead, it’s about releasing bitterness and resentment while maintaining respect for your own needs.

She delves into the connection between forgiveness and attachment patterns, highlighting two common toxic responses: those who avoid forgiveness by leaving abruptly and those who stay in harmful situations due to anxiety. Dr. Sarah explores how bitterness often stems from a fear of being hurt again and acts as a shield that ultimately blocks healing.

Drawing on research, she connects bitterness and unforgiveness to chronic illness, linking these emotions to an increased risk of stroke, heart attack, and even cancer. Dr. Sarah also reflects on her own experience with forgiveness after the death of her ex-husband, crediting her faith in God for helping her release anger and find peace.

Midway through, Dr. Sarah explains how unforgiveness keeps us trapped in trauma responses and prevents nervous system regulation. She emphasizes that self-forgiveness is essential for true healing, describing the importance of “catch and correct” as a strategy for maintaining attachment security.

The episode concludes with Dr. Sarah and Raina sharing personal reflections, including acknowledging positive qualities in their exes and taking accountability for their own past behaviors. They remind listeners that forgiveness isn’t about excusing others—it’s about freeing yourself.
Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. 

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What is covered:

·What is true forgiveness.

.The role forgiveness plays in our healing journeys. 

·The toxic patterns of unforgiveness. 

·The connection between chronic illness and unforgiveness.   

.How unforgiveness keeps us in a state of nervous system dysregulation. 

.The spiritual and psychological avenues to forgiveness. 
                                                                               
Consider/Ask Yourself:

·Am I holding onto resentment and bitterness within my relationship?

.How can I seek more forgiveness with those that have hurt me?

·Am I exhibiting toxic behaviors associated with unforgiveness? 

.What resources can I seek out both spiritually and psychologically as a way to work on forgiveness?


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